Polemics, Women’s Ministry, And The Woman’s Glory

Let’s talk about women, polemics, public teaching, women's ministry, the culture war, and sundry other uncontroversial issues. First things first—if I may point back at my own public teaching on these things in various podcasts, sermons, etc.—note that I've made the following very clear in many ways and places:

1. Women not only can be, but must be students of Scripture. They must be catechized and discipled to be clear and disciplined thinkers, able to refute error and hold fast to the truth once delivered for all the saints. This is obviously true and only fools would say otherwise. It's also worth noting that I know of no serious person who disputes this point.

2. Women are called to instruct their children (Proverbs 1:7–9). Older women “are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”

3. A wife is her husband's most powerful deputy in achieving the mission of his house. Only a foolish man would neglect to listen to his wife, to ask for her input, and to actively encourage her to respectfully offer feedback in the pursuit of that mission.

4. A gentle and quiet spirit is consistent with putting a tent stake through the head of a sleeping enemy, so we need to be sure to have a category for non-normative acts of feminine violence. Yet—and this is a highly important point to keep in mind—these things are not normative. Make sure you remember the biblical theology of the woman crushing heads—that it points to the victory of the woman’s Seed over the serpent, and that it is intentionally intended to heap shame on the enemy, having been killed by a woman.

5. Woman is the glory of man, and we should want our wives and daughters to be gloriously impressive women. I want my daughters to be bright, thoughtful, wise, and knowledgeable. There's more I could say, and have said, in this direction. But all that to say: Anyone who concludes that I have a low view of women is mistaken, and does so in the face of much evidence to the contrary.

Now to the subject at hand. Let's start with women's ministry.

The modern way of doing women's ministry is typically to set up female teachers leading regular women's Bible studies, or some permutation therof. To be blunt, I think this almost inevitably establishes a quasi-eldership of women, teaches women that they need a class of female theologians to be properly trained in theology, and several other errors.

We’ve seen this play out over and over again. A female teacher of theology will often begin by saying, “I’m just teaching women, and I don’t want to be a pastor.” Beth Moore started this way. So did Aimee Byrd. Many more examples could be furnished. And then they begin to drift into teaching men, then softening their stance on male leadership, then to deny it. Nearly every time, there were men along the way who issued warnings, only to be ignored, mocked, reviled, slandered, and dismissed as puritanical fools or blustering theobros, insecure in their manhood. Rarely are these men apologized to after they are proven correct.

God gave a class of teachers to impart and guard the doctrine of the local church: The male eldership. These elders are required to instruct the whole church in doctrinal matters—men and women.

Wise, godly older women ought rather to focus on teaching the younger women on the practical concerns of loving husband and children, managing the home, etc. As Proverbs 31 makes clear, this is a large and broad task. It includes economic activity, wise management, hard work, caring for the needy, and generally being strong, self-controlled, and glorious.

Ok, so let’s talk about polemics, the culture war, and women.

The general principle that I believe both modern egalitarianism and complementarianism tends to miss, obscure, misapprehend, or soften is the ontological issue at hand with respect to maleness and femaleness. God didn’t create mankind and then, ex post facto, give the man certain roles and the woman certain roles in an arbitrary fashion. Rather, God created the man for his duties and the woman for her duties.

Each is fitted in his or her nature to do that which God requires. So when the patriarchalist (of which I am one) says that God normatively forbids women from leadership in the home, the church, and the civil sphere—not arbitrarily—but because she was not fitted for these things. They are against her nature. If she pushes against these boundaries, she will do so to her harm and others harm, like what happens when you try to use your knife to pry up a nail. That’s not what it’s for, and all you end up accomplishing is chipping your nice knife blade while the nail chuckles at you, firmly seated in the board.

This is why I do not believe women ought to regularly engage in public polemical warfare, whether theological or political. And to the extent that she does, she ought to do so in a way that demonstrates a gentle and quiet spirit. There is a reason that my wife and I do a podcast together, where I set the outlines, determine what will be published, and which topics we will discuss. We focus almost exclusively on issues within the umbrella of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31, managing a productive Christian household as a married couple with many children.

I would be appalled if my wife made a practice of arguing with men online, particularly about theological or political polemics. I wouldn’t permit it. It would be damaging to her soul and against her nature, and therefore I would be negligent to permit it.

Now, things do get complicated quickly in our modern and technological age. You might ask, “Brian, are you saying women shouldn’t post about theology online? Shouldn’t ever have a cordial discussion of politics or theology on Twitter? Shouldn’t support and help in pro-life work?”

These are very fair questions! My answer is to say that I’m not necessarily saying exactly that. Rather, I’m saying that a few principles should govern my Christian sisters in their public speech:

First, don’t pursue polemical or teaching platforms that intend to instruct men or generally function in the doctrine-instructing and doctrine-guarding functions God ordained for the male eldership of the Church to perform. As a matter of principle, I would also argue that women generally shouldn’t be primarily engaged in the polemics of the civil sphere either, and that our modern practice of platforming female politicians and political pundits has had disastrous cultural effects.

Second, focus on the things Paul encourages older women to be about in Titus 2, and then trust your elders to teach and defend Christian doctrine in the church. Encourage them in this. Be teachable and humble.

Third, don’t make a habit of arguing with men online. It’s not good for your soul. In online discourse, double down on maintaining a respectful demeanor, not a sarcastic, harsh, or combative one. Make sure you are displaying a gentle and quiet spirit in your public as well as private speech and demeanor. Be ladylike, however old-fashioned you may think that sounds.

Fourth, pursue wisdom and learning with eagerness. Be a lover of the Scriptures and of truth. You will have many appropriate opportunities to discuss these things, love them, and enjoy learning. You’ll have many opportunities to exhort and encourage the saints to love the Scriptures without becoming a public theologian. Don’t steamroll your husband, and take care not to make large theological changes without discussing them with him and following his lead.

Finally, I know many will have different sensibilities with respect to some of the various lines and positions I take here. I’m not afraid of that. Principled disagreement is part of public discourse. Feel free to let me know where you think I’m mistaken, ask questions, etc.

To my friends who disagree, I’m quite happy to be friends across lots of disagreement. None of us are infallible, and all of us will answer to our own Master.

I’m sure someone will be able to find some example of me or my wife violating these principles. Duh. These are hard issues, and we are all of us sinners. We’re pursuing obedience, not having yet been perfected.